Hello, I’m Mildred Yulo-Gonzales and I am TEAM’s permanent representative at PFLAG, known as Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays before the community took all the letters of the alphabet as if panic-buying for an unflatteringly named typhoon (think Maritess or Ofel).
Since my youngest son Bryan came out of the closet two years ago (three this September), I have been taking a crash course in gay parenting. It’s not much different from normal parenting except there are more clapbacks, eye rolls and, because Bryan interns for a blog called Style Bitch, unnecessary debates on whether Sarah Jessica Parker’s charmeuse Chanel number at the 2010 Oscars was a hit or a miss. Let me tell you, seeing my youngest son become the person he truly is fills me with so much pride.
Speaking of pride, June has become one of my top three months of the year because it’s LGBT Pride Month. It’s that time of the year when the community celebrates what makes them all fabulous while protesting the many social injustices they face. It’s also the time when many companies pander to the gay community and release statements, videos, and hashtags to promote inclusion, diversity, and a better world. It’s all very touching, really, until I see that the Nike BeProud VaporMax shoes that Bryan is dying to have retails for 18,000 pesos.
I told TEAM Editor Paolo Lorenzana that I wish we also had an LGBT Pride March here in the Philippines and he told me, “Tita Mildred, we do. We’ve held Pride festivities since 1994. The Metro Manila Pride March is actually the longest running one in Southeast Asia.” If I only know how to get those GIFs the TEAM interns send me in their text messages, I would have inserted one right here—the one where it shows that I am shook. (Shookt?)
Upon discovering the chance of attending a Pride Parade in our country, I immediately called Bryan.
“Oh, that,” he said, upon hearing the news. “Yeah, I know. We’ve had Pride marches since 1994. The Metro Manila Pride March is actually the longest running one in Southeast Asia. Blah, blah, blah,” he said in a tone that told me, I would rather watch your trusted helper Rowena chop onions than participate in that.
“So you mean to tell me you’ve known all along and you have never taken me?!?” I asked in horror.
“Mom, I haven’t even gone to one. I mean, why do I have to go? It’s not like I’m poor or I have something to be angry about,” he said. And at that point, I wanted to teleport to wherever my dumbass gay son was to repeatedly show Valentina failing to lip sync for her life in RuPaul’s Drag Race.
“Well then, clear your schedule because on June 24, we are going to Marikina to join the LGBT Pride March. This is important, Bryan. It’s very, very important,” I scolded.
“Ew, Mom. I would rather watch Rowena chop onions than go to Marikina. It’s gonna be so hot. We’ll both perspire to death!” Bryan pleaded.
And that was when I finally put my foot down. “WHO ARE YOU?!? RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE NOT MY SON. MY SON WOULD NEVER LET HIS PRIVILEGE GET IN THE WAY OF CELEBRATING ACCEPTANCE AND FIGHTING FOR EQUALITY. HE WOULD NOT LET SOCIAL INJUSTICE WIN BECAUSE HE FEARS A LITTLE SWEATING—AND LET ME REMIND YOU, ON CLOTHES THAT I—YOUR MOTHER—LIKELY PAID FOR THROUGH YOUR EXTENSION CREDIT CARD. OKAY, I MAY HAVE SPOILED YOU BUT I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO BE A USELESS HUMAN BEING!”
Much has been said about millennials and their sense of entitlement so I am not interested in adding to that discourse. But let me tell you, if the generations before him did not fight society’s ills—I joined the People Power revolution in 1986 and its lackluster sequel in 2001—we would still be under the tyranny of a demagogue. If women around the world did not fight inequality, we wouldn’t be able to exercise our right to vote.
I told Bryan about the importance of joining the LGBT Pride March. It’s a very concrete way to show the community’s united front in pushing for the same privileges that straight people enjoy. By marching, you all show narrow-minded conservatives that you’re not gonna take bigotry sitting down. And the people who are proud enough of their identity, bold enough to be themselves, and fabulous enough to continue fighting despite the odds deserve a party!
“Bryan, this is not my fight. This is your fight. Your Dad and I are just your allies and we can only do so much. It’s up to you guys to actually demand for the changes you rightfully deserve. You can’t expect just some members of the LGBT community to fight what is your fight—and then reap the benefits of their struggles. More than it being lazy, it is grossly unfair,” I explained. Let me tell you, Bryan was teary-eyed from my monologue, which I actually found on Google.
I am very, very excited to participate in my first Metro Manila Pride March. And now, so is Bryan since he’s made it his mission to pick out my outfit, and not just any outfit, but “an outfit that is as politically woke and glamorous as Beyoncé’s Lemonade album.” A son who thinks of ways that his mom will “slay”—let me tell you, this fills me even more with pride. And when Bryan is surrounded by people who are fighting to make his world a free one on Saturday, I bet he will feel the same way.
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Mrs. Yulo-Gonzales is a Senior Vice President for Sales in one of the country's top insurance companies. She is happily married to her husband of 32 years, Raffy, and spends her time doting on her three children, Tessa, Gregory, and Bryan. She currently resides in New Manila, Quezon City.