Adam J. Kurtz is a gay nerd and he’s doing just fine
Photos courtesy of Adam Kurtz via Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and his website
Adam J. Kurtz is an avowed fan of Alanis Morrisette. The artist and bestselling author of 1 Page at a Time namedrops the “Ironic” and “You Oughta Know” singer-songwriter every chance he gets and even got her to write a blurb for his latest book, the creative bible Things Are What You Make Of Them.
I was more than a little embarrassed, then, when I asked Kurtz, who was here in Manila for the Graphika Manila Creative Convention and book signings courtesy of National Book Store, who his favorite musical artist is and had to stupidly blurt out “Still?” after he mentioned Ms. Morrisette’s name.
“How dare you?” he said laughing.
Oops.
Good thing the 29-year-old Kurtz was good-natured about it and let my unintentional shade pass. “Thank You” is his most favorite Morrisette song and although he has yet to meet the Canadian alt-rocker in person, he said she has inspired him for the longest time.
“Some of her songs are really simple, but some are really dense, like poetry,” he said. “The way she writes and the way she communicates often difficult feelings is inspiring to me.”
Kurtz, who is openly gay, married his boyfriend of five years last December. Despite my faux pas, he was cool enough to continue with the Q&A, which was a relief because he talked about how important it was to be more open about who he was in his work, how he met his husband, and getting fan mail from gay kids.
It was only recently that you connected your being gay with your work. What led you to that?
So it’s never been a secret, at all. People who follow me on Instagram know. But I talk about it more and it’s starting to feel more and more important to talk about it outwardly. Part of that is Donald Trump being elected president.
And it’s not just in the US. It’s remembering that there are people who are queer and feeling like they don’t deserve to exist and who may feel like the world is telling them not to exist. And I’m just like, I’m a gay nerd and my life is okay. And you can be okay, too. It’s just not a big deal, even though some people want you to think it is. I think it’s important to just be an example of how you can be gay, and it’s fine.
And I don’t have abs, and somehow I’m still allowed to live. (Laughs)
I think it’s important to just be an example of how you can be gay, and it’s fine. And I don’t have abs, and somehow I’m still allowed to live.
You’re something of an influencer. Because of that, do you sometimes second-guess whatever you post on your social media channels knowing that there are kids out there who look up to you and see you as some kind of idol?
I don’t think people see me in that way so much. But that’s because I try really intentionally to make people see that I’m a dumb loser. And I’m pretty open about it. I actually am a dumb loser. That’s not posturing. I don’t live a really fancy lifestyle. Even though I live in New York, which is really expensive, I don’t have a fancy apartment. My life is pretty low-key. I’m here in Manila and I’m like, “Oh my god, I got to travel. I can’t believe I’m on a trip!” These things are still exciting to me.
So I think I just try to be really honest on the Internet. And I know that some people present a fancy version of themselves there, but I try not to. It’s not healthy.
Could you talk a bit about your husband?
He’s amazing!
How did you guys meet?
We just got married two months ago. My husband is a very beautiful Japanese man from Hawaii. I saw a picture of him on Facebook and I stalked him. I saw a picture and I was like,
“Who is this beautiful man?” I messaged him my phone number and we went out on a date. And then very quickly, it was just like, we fell in love. It was so fast. You know, sometimes you meet a person and love happens. I didn’t know that it was real, but love is actually real. It seems crazy, but it’s real.
And when and why did you decide to formalize your love and get married?
I think marriage is really about legal protections. You have to play the rules of the government and the place where you live. So, we already love each other. You don’t need to be married to confirm love. But if I die, I want him to bury me. We need to be married for that. Or if I’m in the hospital…just practical stuff. ‘Cause when you build a life with someone, you want them to have agency. You want them to have rights.
We all know about what’s happening in Hollywood right now, like with the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements. As far as gay representation in the arts and literature, do you feel that it’s gotten better over the years?
I think representation for white gay people has gotten better. If you’re a queer person of color, it’s still a hard thing to fight for. That’s just true of the world. The world is biased towards white people, and I recognize that there is a certain amount of privilege that has allowed me to have the things that I have. But yeah, we’re just starting. Just starting the visibility.
I live in New York, so sometimes, I forget that in New York, the culture is doing a better job of promoting voices from within. But yeah, we’re really just getting started. A lot of gay white people are like, highly problematic, I would say. Sometimes, it’s worse at home.
Who are your gay icons?
My husband, Mitchell Kuga. I have eyes for nobody else.
Have you ever gotten any fan mail or messages from gay kids? What have been the most memorable?
When my husband and I got married, we both got a lot of messages from gay teens, like, “This is amazing,” “I can’t believe someone I follow is married,” or “I didn’t think I would get married, but now I want to,” or, “You give me hope, like two losers could fall in love.” Yes, two losers can fall in love. It’s very touching. We really appreciate all of those messages.
To find out more about Adam, visit his website (adamjkurtz.com) and follow him on Instagram and Twitter (@adamjk)
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